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Friday, November 21. 2008
10 Pregnant Animals
Thursday, November 20. 2008
Moral From a Kid!
A teacher gave her class of 11 year olds an assignment: Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Karl said, "My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying chooks. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What’s the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Emily raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chooks for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, " Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched."
That was a fine story Emily. Mick, do you have a story to share? "
"Yes. My dad told me this story about my Aunty Kim. Aunty Kim was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was 3 bottles of rum, a machine gun and a machete. She drank all the rum on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens, " said the horrified teacher,
"what kind of moral did your father tell you from that horrible story? "
"Stay the fuck away from Aunty Kim when she’s been on the piss."
The next day the kids came back and one by one began to tell their stories.
Karl said, "My father’s a farmer and we have a lot of egg laying chooks. One time we were taking our eggs to market in a basket on the front seat of the car when we hit a big bump in the road and all the eggs went flying and broke and made a mess."
"What’s the moral of the story?" asked the teacher.
"Don’t put all your eggs in one basket!"
"Very good," said the teacher.
Next little Emily raised her hand and said, "Our family are farmers too. But we raise chooks for the meat market. One day we had a dozen eggs, but when they hatched we only got ten live chicks, and the moral to this story is, " Don’t count your chickens before they’re hatched."
That was a fine story Emily. Mick, do you have a story to share? "
"Yes. My dad told me this story about my Aunty Kim. Aunty Kim was a flight engineer on a plane in the Gulf War and her plane got hit. She had to bail out over enemy territory and all she had was 3 bottles of rum, a machine gun and a machete. She drank all the rum on the way down so it wouldn’t break and then she landed right in the middle of 100 enemy troops. She killed seventy of them with the machine gun until she ran out of bullets. Then she killed twenty more with the machete until the blade broke.And then she killed the last ten with her bare hands."
"Good heavens, " said the horrified teacher,
"what kind of moral did your father tell you from that horrible story? "
"Stay the fuck away from Aunty Kim when she’s been on the piss."
Two Options To Consider
You’re in Florida...In Miami, to be exact. There is great chaos going on around you, caused by a hurricane and severe floods. There are huge masses of water all over you. You are a CNN photographer and you are in the middle of this great disaster. The situation is nearly hopeless. You’re trying to shoot very impressive photos. There are houses and people floating around you, disappearing into the water. Nature is showing all its destructive power and is ripping everything away with it.
Suddenly you see a man in the water, he is fighting for his life, trying not to be taken away by the masses of water and mud. You move closer. Somehow the man looks familiar.
Suddenly you know who it is -- it’s George W. Bush!
At the same time you notice that the raging waters are about to take him away, forever. You have two options. You can save him or you can take the best photo of your life. So you can save the life of George W. Bush, or you can shoot a Pulitzer prize winning photo, a unique photo displaying the death of one of the world’s most powerful men.
And here’s the question (please give an honest answer):
Would you select color film, or rather go with the simplicity of classic black and white?
The Discomfort Tree. The Urf #3
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Recent Comments
Fri, 21.11.2008 01:43
Ameo you are never o ut of funny stories are you? It is alway s nice to read a sma ll funny post.
Thu, 20.11.2008 15:09
kinda makes sense.. ff ftw
Mon, 17.11.2008 21:28
Wow that is disgusti ng. I don't know ho w people eat things like that. Maybe it is just a cultural t hing I guess.
Mon, 17.11.2008 09:52
shallammmmmmmmmmmmmm
Sun, 16.11.2008 21:59
i'm still not OK wit h this idea and will give it much more t hinking!